Timmy Mallet and Esther Rantzen Leave I'm A Celebrity

Timmy Mallett Evicted
Thank goodness! The annoying Timmy Mallett has been evicted from I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here after a one against one Bushtucker Trial against Brian Paddick.

Glad he's gone but, as he's a vegetarian, it's not really surprising as the Trial was all about swallowing horrible insect and animal parts. As for Brian - how come he ever got to be a top cop? What a useless individual for such a high position, he's so weak minded. You can imagine other police taking the P out of him behind his back.

Esther Rantzen also went, again no big loss.

Lots of arguments went on about who should sleep where, mostly aimed at David van Day. The beds weren't really important, it was just a way of getting at David. A truce was later called and Nicola McLean actually talked and smiled with him!

Nicola claimed that her back was aching because she couldn't sit anywhere properly. All the fault of her big boobs but she did admit that it was her own fault. She didn't take sports bras to the jungle, which would have given her proper support, as she wanted to look nice!

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David van Day Smells

David van Day Bushtucker Trial
David van Day did okay in his I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here Bushtucker Trial, which will be seen tonight. He managed nine stars and then spoilt it a little boasting, and at the same time knocking Nicola, by saying, "We’ll make a good meal out of it after three stars, God we’ll be full up … I shall be c*ck of the camp." The trial made him very smelly!

Nicola and Carly Notice David's Smell
No Nicola McLean and David aren't the best of friends. She invited all of the contestants to her planned wedding - except for David and Timmy Mallett.

Tonight someone will be voted out. At the moment Brian Paddick is favourite with David not far behind in the betting stakes.

Joe Swash is still flattering Esther Rantzen, which does make some viewers cringe a little. He told her, "I think you’re a beautiful older lady with nice big boobies. If my wife looked like you when she gets to your age, I’d be over the moon, I’d be chuffed with that." Esther replied, "You are more than sweet to me." Ahhhh or Yukkk, depending on how you think of it.

Nicola McLean Loves Crocodile Feet

Nicola McLean Bushtucker Trial
Well no matter what the first impressions were of WAG Nicola McLean she did her camp proud in the Bushtucker trial. She got stuck into crocodile feet and other delicacies to beat the somewhat girly attempts by Joe Swash.

As for the other WAG, though a bit home sick, Carly Zucker also tried her best in the Celebrity Chest challenge against the awesome power of Martina Navratilova. Carly put up a good fight though.

Carly Zucker Celebrity Chest
Elsewhere we learnt that Esther Rantzen felt like walking out and Robert Kilroy-Silk was asking himself what he was actually doing there in the first place.

Oh yes, and Brian Paddick, after the gay vote, went naked in the shower. It seems they are pumping in warm water in the hope that the girls will follow suit.

And finally Joe Swash calls his manhood Alfie - not much you can add to that.

Nicola McLean Jungle Bikini Moment

Nicola McLean Bikini
Well it had to happen, but much earlier than predicted. Yes ,we've had our very first jungle bikini shower scene. It looks like Nicola McLean is out to outdo Myleene Klass and Gemma Atkinson from previous years. No doubt it's one way to get the male vote, as long as she hasn't peaked too early.

And there will be more focus on Nicola tonight as she takes on Joe Swash for the I Scream Van Bushtucker Trial.

And for female viewers Simon Webbe stripped off for a wash.

So what do we gather from last night's first helping of I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here!

Firstly Martina Navratilova is going to be a contender for this series, she's not to be messed with. And George Takei might be in his 70's but seems to have a good attitude towards everything.

Looking at the contestants it's hard to pick out who will be sent packing first once the voting starts. Several could make interesting television, including the likes of the opinionated Robert Kilroy-Silk. If I had to pick the first it would probably have to be Esther Rantzen. Nothing ageist, but I can't see her developing into an interesting jungle mate. But it's early days and a lot depends on the editing by the producers.

As for the stomach churning moment so far it must be Esther offering a solution as to how to strain water. She told Robert, "I've got a clean pair of knickers with me."