Nicola McLean Gets Dirty In Her Bikini

Nicola McLean
Nicola McLean and David van Day did a Celebrity Chest thingy in I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here where they had to clean a vehicle to find numbers. It resulted in Nicola getting quite dirty while wearing her bikini, much to male viewers pleasure.

David reckons he bonded with Nicola and that they should work together against favourite to win, Joe Swash. Perhaps a jungle little romance? In his dreams!

Nicola told everyone what David had suggested and they all agreed that DvD had a 'game plan'. Now there's a surprise that even a blind man would have seen. It is a game after all and the idea is surely to become the winner and King or Queen of the Jungle.

David van Day
David did show his sensitive side though when a letter was read out from his two daughters. They wrote that: 'Your Bushtucker trials have left us laughing and extremely proud.' This brought tears to his eyes.

And it was goodbye to ex cop Brian Paddick as he left the camp after being voted out. It's still a puzzle as to how he got to such a high rank in the Police and doesn't say much for the standard required to gain such a position.

Brian Paddick
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Timmy Mallet and Esther Rantzen Leave I'm A Celebrity

Timmy Mallett Evicted
Thank goodness! The annoying Timmy Mallett has been evicted from I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here after a one against one Bushtucker Trial against Brian Paddick.

Glad he's gone but, as he's a vegetarian, it's not really surprising as the Trial was all about swallowing horrible insect and animal parts. As for Brian - how come he ever got to be a top cop? What a useless individual for such a high position, he's so weak minded. You can imagine other police taking the P out of him behind his back.

Esther Rantzen also went, again no big loss.

Lots of arguments went on about who should sleep where, mostly aimed at David van Day. The beds weren't really important, it was just a way of getting at David. A truce was later called and Nicola McLean actually talked and smiled with him!

Nicola claimed that her back was aching because she couldn't sit anywhere properly. All the fault of her big boobs but she did admit that it was her own fault. She didn't take sports bras to the jungle, which would have given her proper support, as she wanted to look nice!

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I'm A Celebrity Thoughts Of The Day

As we all no doubt know Robert Kilroy Silk was the first to be voted out of I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here last night.

I was surpised but the editing for the show was slanted to favour normally unfavoured contestants. David, for example. The producers obviously want him to stay in for a while and you can see their point.

If we had a group that consisted of the likes of Carly Zucker, Dani Behr and Simon Webbe it would all be deadly dull and uninteresting.


Carly is a nice girl, good to look at, but as dull as ditch water. And what's this rubbish about her being 'stressed' last year because of all of her (his, surely) money. How weak is it to say, "I had a massive house that I couldn't control or clean. It took all day."

She wants a kick up the backside for spouting such garbage. Her boyfriend earns in the region of $80,000 a week. Lots of viewers probably earn less in a year than he does in a day and yet she's stressed!

Why doesn't she get some staff and pay them above the average wage to look after the house? Why doesn't she ... well lots of things, lots of the world needs help.

No wonder that even Lily Allen has slammed the celebrity culture for the wrong influence it has on young people.

So who will be the next to leave the jungle. Logically Brian Paddick but voting is a funny old thing. Just look at what happened with John Sergeant! And, of course, everything is manipulated towards certain celebs and away from others.

Personally I'd like to see the back of Timmy Mallett. He's more annoying than many of the jungle bugs.

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David van Day Smells

David van Day Bushtucker Trial
David van Day did okay in his I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here Bushtucker Trial, which will be seen tonight. He managed nine stars and then spoilt it a little boasting, and at the same time knocking Nicola, by saying, "We’ll make a good meal out of it after three stars, God we’ll be full up … I shall be c*ck of the camp." The trial made him very smelly!

Nicola and Carly Notice David's Smell
No Nicola McLean and David aren't the best of friends. She invited all of the contestants to her planned wedding - except for David and Timmy Mallett.

Tonight someone will be voted out. At the moment Brian Paddick is favourite with David not far behind in the betting stakes.

Joe Swash is still flattering Esther Rantzen, which does make some viewers cringe a little. He told her, "I think you’re a beautiful older lady with nice big boobies. If my wife looked like you when she gets to your age, I’d be over the moon, I’d be chuffed with that." Esther replied, "You are more than sweet to me." Ahhhh or Yukkk, depending on how you think of it.

Nicola McLean Loves Crocodile Feet

Nicola McLean Bushtucker Trial
Well no matter what the first impressions were of WAG Nicola McLean she did her camp proud in the Bushtucker trial. She got stuck into crocodile feet and other delicacies to beat the somewhat girly attempts by Joe Swash.

As for the other WAG, though a bit home sick, Carly Zucker also tried her best in the Celebrity Chest challenge against the awesome power of Martina Navratilova. Carly put up a good fight though.

Carly Zucker Celebrity Chest
Elsewhere we learnt that Esther Rantzen felt like walking out and Robert Kilroy-Silk was asking himself what he was actually doing there in the first place.

Oh yes, and Brian Paddick, after the gay vote, went naked in the shower. It seems they are pumping in warm water in the hope that the girls will follow suit.

And finally Joe Swash calls his manhood Alfie - not much you can add to that.

I'm A Celebrity Gossip

So Nicola McLean is under the impression that a lesbian style fling in the jungle wouldn't mean that she is being unfaithful to her boyfriend Tommy Williams. She may just be disappointed when she discovers that Martina Navratilova is the only fully fledged lesbian.

Nicola says that she would never cheat on her Tom and can easily handle going without sex for a few weeks as she once did so for 12 months.

Nicola's main worry is that she will lose weight while on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here and that her boobs will shrink from their 32G size. Most celebs lose at least a stone while on the show.

It is said that David Van Day, the Dollar singer, is in Australia and may be sent into the jungle after the initial ten are settled. We mentioned him as an I'm A Celeb possible a while back.

Joe Swash is the bookies favourite at the moment but a better impression will be gained as to what these 'celebrities' are really like after the show kicks off.

Brian Paddick has said that he's in the running to become a Lord! Perhaps the jungle will scupper his chances. What on earth is he doing on the show anyway? He's an ex-copper not a celeb.

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